DONG!, Crispy Jewels and Bubba

Las Vegas is awash in poker players. They have come from far and wide to, as Rio/Harrah's advertising puts it "Watch History Fold & Unfold". What I have been watching lately is a bevy of players who don't know Jack Schott (Marge's brother) about poker etiquette & couldn't care less if the action is to them.
US Patent #66666666666666666666 has just been issued to me. It is for an invention called "Live Action Poker Prodder" Each player position at the poker table has a speaker which emits a customizable ring tone which activates when the action has reached that seat. Additionally, there is a cattle prod embedded in each chair. If the customizable ring tone doesn't get your attention a 70,000 volt of electricity to your nether regions is sure to do the trick. I may never hear the question of "who's it on?" again.....

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There is nothing quite like seven 20-somethings dressed alike.
It seems that there is a guy named Bubba (no shit) who is playing in the WSOP and 7 of his friends had Tshirts made up saying something about Bubba's House. These 7 people play in Bubba's home game and they are here to conquer LV. Today LV, tomorrow the world. More power to them I suppose. After all, what happens here stays here and no one back home will ever know that they paraded around the poker rooms of LV dressed alike..........unless someone from outside of LV stumbles upon this post...........IF that happens.........BUSTED!

Sigh...........