The Pampered Keno Fool

I'll start with today and work my way back a few days.

When I arrived at work today I was told that I would be on "first break". It's not often that I need a break before I even start work, but today I really didn't mind. It was my Monday and I was content to ease into the work week. Near the end of my 30 minute break, I was informed that I would also be on "second break". WTF?? This is beyond ridiculous, but what could I do except take another break. When I finally got into the box after being at work for an hour, things seems to go smoothly. I dealt tables 7-8-9. Near the end of my down on table 8, Tom asked me if I wanted to take his place in the line-up so that he could go home early. I would be headed back to table 7-8-9. Bingo! Typically the games on tables 7-10 are the best to deal from a financial standpoint. Things were looking up even though it meant dealing 3 straight hours. When I finished those three hours, guess what? The break on on table 9 was pulled. This would have meant that I would be dealing 5 straight hours. Trust me when I tell you that dealing a 10Ball is not my idea of amusement. By now it is 5PM and ironically, the 5:00 dealer has been told that he would be on first break. ?? Start someone on a break so that I can deal 5 hours at a stretch? Whatever. I did talk the 5:00 dealer into dealing a few hands so that I could grab a soda and a smoke. I returned 10 minutes later and dealt another 2hrs and 50 minutes. My apologies to the muscles in my back and shoulders. I promise to make it up to you.

After work I visited the friendly neighborhood keno machines. The machine took pity on my weary body and coughed up an 8/9. It wasn't the ideal 8/9, but it will do.

****

Yesterday, my Sunday, I headed to the Palms with intentions of playing poker. Amazingly, there was a keno machine between the door and the poker room Hello keno machine. I got WAY stuck before hitting and escaped that session a couple of bills to the good. I then jumped on the list for a $4-8 game. The disasters of the last two poker sessions was hanging over me like some dark, ominous cloud. (those two sessions totaling about 4.5 hours resulted in me stacking exactly 1/3 of ONE pot) The curse was lifted and I immediately got into the black, and stayed there for the entire session. Score one for the good guy.

After booking a win I headed to the Gold Coast with some friends for the Thursday night Seafood Buffet. It was all good until I looked down at some Oriental/Asian/Whatever noodles and spotted a tentacle of some sort. Octopus. No thank you very much. Clean plate and on to some king crab legs. Nothing can compare to Chesapeake Blue Crab, but living a continent away, king crab legs will have to do.

After dinner I decided that I would stick a SINLGE $100 bill into a keno machine and see what happened. About three hours, and a handfull of bills later I was cussing myself. Stuckaroo. Bingo! Again. I got within $20 of my "buy-in", thanked my lucky stars, cashed out and went home.

*******

Wednesday (My Saturday) I headed away from home with no particular destination in mind. As I neared NYNY I remembered that I had some free play there. Almost immediately I went up several hundred. I vow to use the proceeds to get a massage. The legitimate kind. Inertia took over and I continued to play away the profits. Another hit, another vow. Repeat a few times until I finally convinced myself that I needed some pampering.

I headed to the players club desk to inquire about a possible comp to the spa. I asked what kind of comps I had available. The last time I was there the players' club rep asked me if I wanted to eat at Gallagher's and if I wanted to take a few freinds, so I knew that I had a fairly susbstantial comp balance. This time, however, all the lady would say was that I had "some" comps available. How much, I asked. More than $50 she said. Well several hundred IS more than $50 I suppose. She then tells me that they couldn't write a spa comp unless I talked to a host. What a pain in the ass. I tell her I'll be back. I then headed to the spa to see if they had any openings. Nope. Foiled again.

I then headed to the Luxor to check out the availability at the spa. Sidetracked again by some free play. I turned the free play into a few hundred and headed to the spa. It was now around 4:00PM. They had a 50 minute appointment for 7PM. I'll bet I could spend every cent of the day's profit in a few hours waiting on appointment time. Being the pessimist that I am, I paid for the massage up-front and headed back to the machine wars. I was pleasantly surprised and was able to maintain the win. Around 6PM I headed to the spa for some jacuzzi/steam/dry sauna pre-massage. The hour quickly passed and Randy appeared. I told him NOT to be afraid of hurting me, pointed out the problem areas and lost myself in 50 minutes of deep tissue massage. I made a committment that I would do this at least once a month for the forseeable future.

When I paid for the massage, I didn't even think to check available comps, I just paid cash. Afterwards it occurred to me that I should see what I had available. As it turns out, the next THREE massages will be courtesty of the Luxor/Mandalay Resorts. Comped massages. What could be better?

****

Tomorrow night after work I will be meeting the "Travelling Card Party" group at Tuscany. I have not yet played poker there, so it should be interesting. The best part of this Saturday night ritual has less to do with the cards and more about just being out and about among friends.

A toast to friends........

Details, details.

One (several) of my pet peeves is dealers who:
1) Can't count 20 chips and put a lammer/spacer between the stacks.
2) Don't put the largest denomination chips in the middle of the rack and work out with lower denominations.
3) Don't get a fill.
4) Don't count their rack.

Several dealers have told me that they like following me in the line-up because they know that the rack will right, neat and full. Great! Now return the courtesy.
It's really not that hard. There are always breaks in the action as someone thinks and thinks and thinks about whether to call $2 whole dollars or not. Utilize this time wisely. Don't use this time to watch the ball game on TV. Really, it's not that hard.

A few nights ago I pushed a dealer that hadn't pushed in a long time. As he was exiting the box I commented " Great, another dealer who doesn't get a fill". His reply? Well, I'm selective in who I get fills for. Now that I know you are pushing me, I will make sure the box is full for you for the rest of your shift. This I'll scratch your back because I know that you will scratch mine is all well and good, but SHIT!! can't everyone just do their job? Sure, there are times that it isn't possible to get a fill. One example would be when you call for one towards the end of your down and it happens to be shift change. The floorpeople/cashiers are counting down the cash and usually don't make transactions until they have finished. Fine, everyone knows that. Other than that, there are few other times when it is excusable.

Yesterday I pushed onto table 8. The box was $40 short. I informed the floor. A little while later the floor brought me $40 to make the box correct. When I got out of the box the floor said he thinks he knows what happened. Apparently Grave shift took over with a $27 shortage (in the bank, not on the tables). Day shift took over $14 UP. Do the math. The bank increased by $41 and the rack on table 8 decreased by $40. This means that almost certainly, a fill was done incorrectly. It would also suggest that every dealer who dealt table 8 on day shift, before I got there, had not counted the rack. There were 7 dealers who preceeded me.
Sometime after Swing shift came on I hit table 1. You guessed it. Table 1 was $17 short. Imagine my surprise when I was told that Swing shift took over with a $17 surplus in the bank.
Granted, these are not huge sums of money. It's still annoying, at least to me.
****

One of our dealers at the Palms is currently on one hell of a run. He went to Reno with the intentions of playing every event. He has finished 1st three times, 3rd, 5th, 8th and 17th. Congratulations Charlie! To see the results via Poker Pages, click here.
With all of the tournaments coming up, it's a great time to be hitting your stride!
****

Today is my Friday. Here's hoping it's short and merciful. See you at the tables.

Toto, we're not in Houston anymore

It's Saturday afternoon and the testosterone is flowing on table eight at the Palms. Seats 6 & 10 declare war, eventually getting all-in. The 10s tables his hand. The 6 seat does nothing.....then he looks at his cards. Then he looks at the 10s. I would have bet money that a slow roll was in progress and I was steeling myself for the aftermath of said slow roll. The 6s finally pushes his cards, face down, toward me a few inches. The 9s immediately says that he wants to see the 6s hand. I tap the cards on the muck, killing it, and turn them over. The 7s asks why I just exposed the cards. I stated that the 9s had requested it and since it was a called hand....Before I could finish, the 6s realizes what just happens. He joins the chorus of the 7s and commences to have a fit. I called the floor even though I knew that I had done the right thing. I don't necessarily like the rule, but it is the rule in any case. I almost said that I didn't think it was good etiquette to ask to see a hand, but I somehow stopped myself. Of course the floor backed me up. The 7s then quips that where he plays, no one has ever asked to see a hand nor would it be allowed. I later gathered that where he played was in a "private" card club in Houston. How did I come upon that information? The 1s was a quiet young man with plenty of chips in front of him. Most of those chips had previously resided in front of the 7s. The 7s tried repeatedly to dig at the 1s. On one hand the 1s calmly called an all-in from the 7s while the 1s was merely holding ace high. The 7s was amazed. "How could you call that??" The 1s, smooth as can be simply said "I can read you like a book" and left it at that. As fast as you can say re-buy the 7s was on major tilt. The 7s informed the 1s that at "his" club in Houston he would be a nobody, etc etc. The 1s just quietly stacked the chips. Unfortunately, or fortunately (you pick) I got pushed. I don't know how it ended. My guess would be another re-buy or two from the 7s.
When in Rome.......
****
The Great Smoking Debate continues to rage at the Palms. Sunday, table two, a smoking table. One guy was chain smoking. The lady in the 2s was 9 months pregnant. Don't ask. Hell if I know. The conversation turned to, or rather continued to be, the smoking policy. The 5s, a smoker who was choosing NOT to smoke at the table asked the chain smoker if he could show some courtesy to the pregnant lady and the unborn child by refraining from smoking. Nope, he kept right on chain smoking. Granted, the pregnant lady kept right on playing, too. Like I said, don't ask. I don't have a clue.
Some of the dealers at the Palms are close to mutiny, or at least resignation, over the change in the policy. I'm not in that group. A casino certainly isn't a church. Well not the traditional church although I'm sure as much praying, or MORE, goes on in a casino. What is so different about a poker table as opposed to a pit table? Smoking is allowed in ALL seats in the pit. At least the 1s and the 10s at a poker table are still non-smoking seats even if smoking is allowed at the rest of the table.
In the not so distant future this issue may be addressed my the state legislature. What can't be resolved by civil discourse will be rammed down everyone's throats by the government. After all, Big Brother knows best.
As for me, I think I will smoke the last cigarette of the day and go to bed. Puff Puff

"Gentle" cleansing

The only thing that would make this picture better would be if the license plate was a personalized ........ ASSMAN
Notice that the tube is "pencil thin"......

****This is NOT an endorsement****

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em

As of yesterday the Palms Poker Room once again allows smoking 24/7. Sort of.
We have two distinct poker rooms. This is unique to the Palms and I'm not aware of any other LV poker room that is structured this way. Historically, the no limit games have been spread in one room and the limit games have been spread in the other room. The two rooms are separated by a hallway which leads to the rest rooms. It is my understanding that one room will be designated smoking and the other non-smoking--regardless of the type of game. Currently, smoking is allowed in what was previously our limit room. If there are 7-10 people that want to play NL on the smoking side, and a table is available, voila, a smoking NL game. Conversely, if the $2-4 players want a non-smoking game, and a table is available, then a non-smoking game will take place in what was formerly the NL room. I believe that this is a reasonable "compromise" even if it will require a little more creativity on the part of the list keeper.
Just like in a restaurant, you may be asked if you want smoking, non-smoking or first available.
Of course as a dealer, there is no compromising. You'll be required to deal in both rooms. As a smoker, I'll be the first to admit that it does become a little overwhelming when 8 players at a table are all smoking. The 1 and 10 seat will still be designated as non-smoking seats even if it is in the smoking-allowed room.
*****************

I now know variance intimately. During my last two poker sessions, which have totaled 4.5 hours, I have managed to win exactly one third of one pot. Look out when this turns around! IF it ever does turn around.
*****************
I've written before about "Tip Shills" and how they can be a double edged sword. On one hand it is nice to have a player that will gently remind players, many who are not B&M poker room veterans, that it is customary to toke your dealer. On the other hand, it can be embarassing.
Today, as I was dealing a $4-8 limit game a guy in the 4s toked me a quarter (25 cent quarter). I thanked him (of course) and dropped the quarter. The guy in the 6s (I had never seen either of these guys before) goes apeshit on the 4s. Something about Mickey D's employees making more than dealers, you should be ashamed, etc. etc. 4s screams back at the 6s SHUT UP and MIND YOUR OWN (expletive) BUSINESS. I asked the 6s to "Let it go" and continued dealing the next hand. On that hand, I reminded the 4s that the action was on him and he snapped "DON'T RUSH ME". Honestly, I wasn't. He just wasn't one of the happiest campers.
Later as I was on table 9 a ruckus broke out on table 10. A player, who aparently wasn't involved in the hand (and had consumed a few adult beverages) announced to the whole room that the winner of an $800 pot had only given the dealer $2. He went on and on about it. I just grinned and kept on keeping on.
Besides, if anyone complains that I was getting a kick out of the toke wars, I have an out. I forgot my badge today and I assumed the alias "Jimmy".
Jimmy might have some 'splainin' to do.


I know that the degenerates among you will be disappointed that you missed this event, but.....
Who dreams up this stuff?
Hot-Chick-Beer-Bong "Sucking"?
Only at the Palms.

Snow in the desert.

Before we venture into today's weather let me elaborate on the Winds of Change post. Our poker room manager has announced his retirement. His pending retirement was a well kept secret and when the job posting went up all sorts of thoughts went through my mind. Thankfully the most sinister of them proved unfounded. A simple retirement by a retirement-aged man. Nothing more, nothing less. I will always be thankful that he took a chance on me. I had no poker experience and have often marveled at the fact that I was handed what was arguably the most coveted poker dealing job in Las Vegas. I still laugh when I think about something he said to me when had been on the job for a year and a half. Wayne, you have become an "adequate" dealer, he said. He is a man of few words and coming from him I took it as a huge compliment. I am positive that is how he intended it.
Gene, sincere best wishes on your retirement!
When I got up on Tuesday morning, I thought to myself that it seemed really dark outside. The blinds were closed, but at 11AM it is usually much brighter. I didn't take the time to peek outside. I jumped in the shower, dressed and headed out the door for work. When I opened the door I was stunned to see SNOW. Ten days ago the forcast was for snow, but I never saw any in my little corner of the world. Today it was really putting it down. As I drove the six miles to work it changed to rain and when I pulled into the employee lot it wasn't even raining.
The temperature was 44 degrees, so what did come down didn't last long.
Notice that the tree is in bloom. The white streaks are snow. I guess the camera couldn't decide what to focus on, so that accounts for the blurry photo. The other two pictures were taken from inside the car.
Someone said today that the temp was to reach the 80's by Thursday. I won't be too long until it is 115 degrees for weeks on end.
Such is life in the desert.

The very observant poker player and "Dealer"

On Saturday I'm dealing to the crowd on table 3. There are a few new faces sprinkled among the jaded regulars. One of those new faces was a lady on vacation from Florida. She had an infectious laugh and was enjoying herself is spite of the fact that she was losing. There are those who could take a lesson from this lady. At one point she (sic) uddered, after missing yet another flop, that she couldn't hit a cows ass with a snow shovel. There wasn't a trace of malice in the statement. That's a new one for me. I didn't know that they had cows or snow in Florida.

[Allow me to digress for a moment. It was one of those days. I start on table one--a $2-4 limit game. 80% strangers. 80% didn't know shite from shinola and half of them didn't grasp the fact that it was a LIMIT game and kept wondering, aloud, why they couldn't bet $8 if they wanted to. Acting in order was totally lost on this group. I was so patient that my face hurt. I gently explained why it was important that certain things be done in certain ways and in a certain order. The typical reward for taking people by the hand and honestly trying to make their poker playing experience enjoyable is that you get stiffed. It's not worth getting bent out of shape about it, but it is worth mentioning. And to take this another day into the past, on Friday I dealt quads to a guy in his early 20s. He was jubilant that he won a nice pot AND a nice bonus jackpot. He crowed that the next round was on him. Everyone at the table was instructed to order a drink and he would take care of the tip. This established that, in fact, he was familiar with the whole concept of a tip. It didn't, however, mean that I was getting a dime. I didn't.]

Back to the game in which the happy lady from Florida was playing. As I pushed a small pot to one of the regulars, the recipient informed me that I had better start putting quarters (25 cent quarters) in the pot. If I need them to facilitate the rake, I do put them in the pot. If not, I don't. I matter of factly told him that I would be happy to chop up a blue chip any time he wanted. All he had to do was throw me a buck and ask me to chop it. I am familiar with that concept. Basically, he just didn't want to give me a $1 and he didn't want to have to be bothered with asking me to chop it up. (more likely he didn't want to draw attention to himself my asking for change. Some players are observant and judgemental!) Oh well. A few hands later I push him a pot that contained 4 quarters. I'll give you one, and only one, guess as to what he did. He gave me ALL 4 OF THE QUARTERS. Well screw-me-running if I can figure people. I can't and I wish I could stop trying. Back to the happy lady. She, being in the 1s, had my ear. She related, not in whispered tones, but loudly, that yesterday she saw a player rake in a large pot and the player gave the dealer 25 cents. The lady went on and on about how cheap some people were. She reasoned that had she been the dealer that she would have told him to keep it. In reality, had she been in the dealer's shoes she would have rapped it lighly on the box, dropped it, and thanked the player. It's what we do.... There are days that I would gladly bypass any and all tokes if the players would simply play the game and at least act like they were having some semblance of a good time. Misery does not love company.
*****
Lately I have been obsessed with reading blogs. Not poker blogs, but service industry blogs. I've spent hour upon hour reading the tales of a WalMart customer service manager. Then I moved on to www.waiterrant.net . It's nothing new, but I am reminded of how some people place other people into imagined classes. Some simply have the need to feel superior. In their world I'm sure that they have convinced themselves of their rightful place in the universe. As an example, consider this. I wear a name tag. I've dealt to some of the same people 4-5 days a week for over 2 years. Some of those regulars still cannot bring themselves to use my name. It's "Dealer" this, and "Dealer" that. The same thing with the cocktail waitresses. They have names too, but these people always scream "Cocktails!
If they called us by name, then they would be forced to think of us as somewhat human-like. Using the generic "Dealer" keeps us in the same class as a chair or a sofa.
It's their little power trip. If that's what gets them through their day, so be it.
I know the real score.

The Winds Of Change are blowing......

...and I don't think that I like what those winds are carrying.

Main Entry: status quo
Pronunciation: -'kwO
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, state in which: the existing state of affairs; specifically : the last actual and uncontested state of affairs that preceded a controversy and that is to be preserved by preliminary injunction.

The status quo in my little corner of the poker world is in jeopardy.
Stay tuned.

Poker Room Attracts the Riffraff............

Quoted from Rod Smith's column Inside Gaming 2/26/06:

"It's not surprising that old-time high rollers at Caesars Palace are complaining, less than a year after the venerable Strip icon was taken over by Harrah's Entertainment. The new poker room takes space away from high-stakes table games and attracts the riffraff, they say. Harrah's also is squeezing more and more slot machines into the same floor space. That may be fine for slot players. But high rollers say the layout is a pain for players just trying to enjoy the casino."

This reminds me of Venetian employees boasting that "We don't do buffets and we don't do poker" as if either poker or buffets, or both, caused leprosy. Those Venetian employees are about to eat crow, although they will be eating them in a high-end restaurant and not in a buffet. I suppose they could eat those words table-side in the poker room.

Speaking of table-side-poker-room-dining, I can't think of anyplace I would rather NOT eat a meal. Take a few thousand germ encrusted casino chips, pass them around the table for months on end so that they carry traces of a few thousand people and then eat a meal without washing your hands. That sounds like something the dreaded riffraff would do, but you see it from all walks of life.

On Sunday as I was dealing, the player in the one seat was eating a burger. Twice, in quick succession, I removed some sort of substance from a card. Well someone had to remove the foreign substance and I was that someone. The guy in the 5s jokingly made some comment about me picking boogers off of the cards. The burger eating player, who is hearing-impaired (the pc way of saying old and going deaf) thinks that the 5s is saying that I was picking burger off of the cards. He got very indignant and started challenging the 5s. He acted like it was NOT possible that there was burger on the cards. Sooooo I say, loudly to compensate for the deafness, "George, he said I was picking BOOGERS! off of the cards, not BURGERS!"
Maybe you had to be there but it was funny in a sick sort of way.
Why are so many B&M poker related stories funny in a SICK way?
In any case, after that down I practically ran to the bathroom to wash my hands.
Just thinking about it makes me want to go wash my hands right now.


****
Yesterday I'm dealing and Lou is in the 9s. He cracks open a fortune cookie and proceeds to "read" it to the whole table. "You will make a straight flush" he says.
On the very next hand, Lou flops 4 to a straight flush. He never "got there" but he made sure that everyone saw that he had indeed flopped an open ended straight flush draw.
In my best (read horrible) Asian accent I said "Fortune Cookie Wong!"
Sometimes I crack myself up. It helps me maintain sanity while trapped in the bizzare world of poker.

****

Technical Difficulties:
Also yesterday as I push into a game, the shuffle master lid is closed. I have no cards. I looked around to see if anyone had grabbed the deck. There were no cards on the table. I yelled at the exiting dealer, but he had escaped. I finally opened the shuffle master lid to find BOTH decks of cards, all shuffled together, in the machine. Don't even ask me how that happened as I have no clue. The lid isn't supposed to close until you have inserted the "old" deck and removed the "fresh" one. I immediately called for a set-up. "Not right now" was the reply from the frazzled floorman. Well SHIT! I did the only thing I could think of......While the players waited patiently I sorted the green deck from the brown deck, counted them both down, placed one in the shuffle master and hand shuffled the other one. On with the game.
There is a first time for everything and that was the first time I ever halted a poker game in order to "make" a set-up. Typically a poker game stops for no one/nothing. A player could drop dead and end up face down in his chips and the chorus from the other 9 players would be just deal around him. I've heard it said that if the player is actually dead, then his hand is dead too. Push the pot to the "live" one and get on with the game............

Core temperature approaching critical level.

This afternoon, I came as close to a meltdown as I have ever come. At least in poker dealing terms.
I'm dealing a $2-5 blind NLH game. Mr. Grouchy is in the 6s. We have a history. He has recently began dabbling in NL. His usual game is $4-8 limit. He plays both games with equal horridity. I don't know if that is even a word and I don't care. It describes his play perfectly.
In any case, he loses a hand and goes on his standard rant. Murph, you still stink. yada yada yada. I think I threw in something about his endless moaning and groaning getting REALLY OLD.
A few hands later he, again, loses a big pot. I could tell he was about to go into another rant. I very pointedly and not so nicely hissed...... "DON'T SAY IT!!" He started to open his mouth and I jumped right in with another DON'T SAY IT!!!!! I must have repeated that phrase 6 times, each time with increased volume.
He didn't utter a word.
The other regulars at the table just stared, slack jawed, at me. It was totally out of character.
Screw it! I'm sick of his shit. I think he now knows it with vivid clarity. If there wasn't a poker table between us, I think I would have kicked him in the face.
The sad part is that he is good for the action. Like swallows to Capistrano, his chips fly into other people's stacks. I don't think that makes him good for the game.

Ahh, that feels better. I think I got it all out. I'd feel a lot better had I actually kicked him in the teeth, but I am likely better off for not having done that.

Another annoying episode occurred on table 3 ($4-8 limitHE). Jeremy, the dealer, was ramming and jamming as usual. Add K. to the mix. He had played NL all night and cashed out nearly $4,000 winner. He jumped into the $4-8 game at Jeremy's urging. He was ramming and jamming too. Not that this was what annoyed me.
The two of them in the same game had the regular rocks in a tizzy. About halfway through my down, the player in the 10s tells me that those two were playing as a team. If I had false teeth, they would have flown from my mouth. I gently told the guy that Jeremy wasn't even looking at his hole cards, he was just gambling (in actuality, Jeremy knows these players, and their "style" well enough to know that he can get them to lay down what is likely the best hand just by continuing to raise-raise-raise relentlessly)
I'll never understand how someone putting a ton of chips in play blindly can put so many people on tilt. Don't they realize that they just need to wait for a hand (bluffing is out of the question, so I won't even go there) and play back at him? If $2 flops are what they are looking for, they ain't getting them in a Jeremy game.
For the record, if I had any suspicion that they were in cahoots, I would report it.

Last night after work I headed to Hooters to meet Kim and Benton. We had planned to eat and play poker. We accomplished one of those objectives, but we didn't play any poker.
They had two tables in operation. One was a (I believe) $1-2 NLH game. The other was a $4-8 limit Crazy Pineapple game. The third table was dark. There wasn't a list for a limit HE game and they didn't act like they wanted to start a list either.
We got a pager and waited over an hour for a seat in the Hooters Restaurant. Deep fried goodness, right? Wrong! I woke up at 4:30 this morning with severe stomach cramps in a cold sweat. I'll spare you the ugly details, but suffice it to say I was as sick as I have been in a loooooong time. I can't attribute it to anything other than the deep fried wings/buffalo shrimp. I didn't even have a beer with dinner. I don't think I will be eating there again any time soon---if EVER.

The poker scene at work has been just a little busier than the recent past. The schedule as been cut enough that those who are working are getting more down time. Ironically, "down time" in poker is a good thing. It's time actually spent in the box dealing and (hopefully) making some scratch.

I was talking to a co-worker today about the moaners and groaners. He has been dealing forever. He told me that once while dealing stud, the player sitting next to him kept showing him his cards while bitching/moaning into his ear. Eventually the player gets KK in the hole. The dealer then, on purpose, announces who the action is on by saying "Pair of Kings High". There are no kings showing anywhere. The player with the buried Kings immediately bets out. The dealer then says, wait, that's not right. Sorry.
The guy goes ballistic. The dealer says, well you keep showing me your hole cards and I got confused. The player stopped showing his hole cards to the dealer. Mission accomplished.


Tomorrow is my Friday and I think I will try to EO/Play. I've had enough dealing for one week.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow??

From Yahoo Weather comes this little gem:
TEMPERATURES THIS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY WILL BE 15 TO 20 DEGREES COLDER THAN TODAYS HIGHS. ALONG WITH THE BIG DROP IN TEMPERATURES WIDE SPREAD RAIN AND SNOW SHOWERS WILL OCCUR AS WELL. MOUNTAIN LOCATIONS IN SOUTHEAST CALIFORNIA...SOUTHERN NEVADA AND NORTHWEST ARIZONA WILL SEE SNOW FALL ACCUMULATIONS THAT WILL PRESENT A TRAVEL PROBLEM. SNOW LEVELS IN THE VALLEYS WILL DROP TO THE NEAR 2500 FEET. IT IS NOT OUT THE QUESTION TO SEE SNOW SHOWERS IN THE LAS VEGAS VALLEY EARLY SATURDAY THAT COULD COLLECT ON GRASSY SURFACES...WHILE THE WESTERN FOOT HILLS COULD SEE AN INCH OR TWO ACCUMULATE. THIS STORM HAS THE POTENTIAL TO SET RECORDS IN MANY LOCATIONS FOR LOW MAXIMUM TEMPERATURES...SNOW FALL AMOUNTS FOR THE MONTH AND LATEST SNOW FALL IN THE SEASON FOR DESERT AREAS.

The wind is threatening to blow Las Vegas out of Nevada. I hope Toto and I end up somewhere that has legalized casinos with poker rooms.

On Wednesday night I ventured to Bellagio and jumped into a $4-8 limit game with Linda and Marie. Never got anything going and dropped a rack and a half.
And now for the rest of the story.
Over the course of several hours I don't recall hearing a raise announced or the number of remaining players being noted. In fact, while I was not paying attention I attempted to just call $8 while there had been a raise to $16. I just scolded myself for not paying attention and called the other $8. A simple statement of RAISE by the dealer would have been nice though. The conversation drifted to and from dealer attitudes (to be fair, not just at Bellagio). Another Bellagio dealer who was also playing in the game commented that most dealers seemed to be lethargic.
LETHARGIC. I love the word and it is a perfect description of some dealers.
I told him that he was kind by using that word instead of "lazy bastards" to describe the situation.
Honestly, the majority of the dealers on Wednesday night truly looked like they would have rather been ANYWHERE but where they were. Not a pretty sight.

The latest edition of Card Player has the results of some "a good dealer talks..." poll. The possible responses ranged from "Shut up and deal" to "Chatter Box"
Not surprisingly, the most common response was that the dealer should talk only when necessary. Other that that, be a piece of furniture.
Many times I have wanted to scream "JUST! SHUT! UP! AND! PLAY!" so maybe I can understand where they are coming from.

It should be interesting to see how many race fans hit the poker tables over the next few days. Traditionally, these guys and gals come to party and GAMBLE. Ladies and Gentlemen, start your engines.......

Windows

Dear Poker Player,
I see into your soul. I see the slightest tremble of your hands. When our fingers inadvertently touch, I notice the cold clamminess. When your breath seems to stop and you are struggling to make your lungs work again, I see. When nothing but pure evil is oozing from your pores, I sense it. Where there is goodness, I perceive it. I wish I could turn it off, but I can't. I want to be the machine that pumps out the cards, good, bad, indifferent. The brick wall that can neither understand nor interpret your mumbled laments, your cold inhuman stares.
Buy-in after buy-in you place on the table. Your game never changes. You almost never win and when you do it is simply a fluke, an inexplicable twist of fate. You refuse to become a better player. You already know it all, so how could anyone or any book help you? Hell, you could write a book. If it weren't for these idiotic dealers who don't know how to deal you a winner you would never lose. Bottom pair? Good enough to call all the way to the river. Your AK didn't hold up? How can that be? Stupid dealer! They're all laughing at you. I know it, but you don't. As long as you produce yet another buy-in, they will continue to enforce your beliefs. How could your gut-shot not magically appear? They'll agree with you about how bad that beat was. Who cares if you were behind the whole way. You were supposed to get there, damn it.
I know you don't want my pity.
If I sense just a shred of humanity, you get it anyway.
If not......you've created your own bed of nails.
Peaceful dreams.

nitty gritty

I had a draft waiting in the wings, but it was all doom and gloom and agony on me--HeeHaw style. Since I deleted the most depressing parts, you'll have to be content with what's left

I've heard that O'Shea's now has two poker tables in operation. Treasure Island, Venetian and Red Rock are soon to open and I've heard that NYNY will enter the fray. Enough already. More is not necessarily better.

• The LV poker scene is in a lull.
• The nits are not.

Such is the life of a LV poker dealer.

The Professor, The Fantasy Camp & The Anonymous Big Giant Head

If you happen to see the March 2006 issue of Poker Pro, yours truly makes an appearance on page 80. That's my big fat head, bald spot and all, to the left of the picture.

www.thepokerpromagazine.com

This picture reminded me of something that I hadn't thought about for a long time. I don't know if they still use the clip, but if you watch Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo, there used to be (still is?) a "how the game is played" segment inserted into each episode. In that segment, there is a guy who pushes in all of his chips and then turns over KQ for a full house. Yep, that's my hands. Totally useless trivia!